I traveled alone several times in the years after college (Europe, the Caribbean, and Bermuda). I loved the feeling of just trusting life and people, of not knowing what exactly would happen, of making just enough money to get by, and of the aliveness felt by living on the edge. Settling down, being married and having children created a whole new adventure, which I also deeply loved, but a part of me missed that sense of freedom that travelling solo gave me. Owning the Angel Room, I met people who made their living by travelling to and presenting at centers across the country. “I would LOVE to do that!” I would think. I had several intuitive readings during the year before I left the Cape and each time the reader saw my travelling and offering workshops to others but none of us could see the How. At that time I also felt that I was emerging from a cocoon; the Angel Room had allowed me to grow and now it was time to step out. The plan unfolded this past year and I have definitely been stepping out by offering workshops at nearby centers. But this Sunday I begin a three-week journey to Florida with 600 lbs of Selenite (my jeep is not my motorcycle but I will feel like I am flying and floating with those crystals!). I am excited and honored to be the first person share these amazing stones in this way with others and to witness the looks on their faces as they experience them through the workshops…it is priceless!!

This blog will allow me to share my journey with you. My first stop is breakfast in Amherst with Kelsie and then on to my cousin Franci’s in Bernardsville, NJ. I’m offering a workshop that night in Brooklyn, NY at Maha Rose, Healing, Art & Yoga Center. Filled with gratitude and excitement to reconnect with friends and family along the way, I will be spending quality time with some of my closest friends from all different points in my life. I scheduled my workshops and sessions in centers close to them in New York, North Carolina and Florida. I am also so grateful for the beautiful support of my family and friends here and especially that of my love. It is not easy to leave the comfort of this beautiful peace filled home and the man who loves every bit of me. When I focus on it, tears come to my eyes and I don’t know if I will ever want to do this again but I know I must do it now. I am committed to unconditionally allowing life to go where it needs to go, to being of service and to staying supremely focused within my intention of being Light and Love and sharing Light and Love.

I sat on the couch with Pete the other day in a rare moment of quiet togetherness and asked him “so how do you REALLY feel about my leaving?” and he responded effortlessly and immediately, “my girl is spreading her wings!” He smiled, hugged my legs stretched across his lap, and his gleaming eyes said it all…he is with me all the way.

My hope as always is that my journey and this blog touch, move and/or inspire you in some way… “If I can do it, you can do it! (if you want to)”

With Love, Light and Gratitude,

Nicki

As I sat through the presentation I reflected on a situation that I was wrestling with after a pretty intense confrontation not one hour prior. I searched for a reemerging pattern within. I was able to step back and see how I had chosen and created similar situations through an imbalance in my love of self and detachment from my belief in ease, flow and grace. I saw clearly how I would choose situations that were challenging then moan and groan my way through them (quietly and occasionally but still, I was in a moaning vibration on some level) and I would blame others for my not having what I really wanted to have in my life.

A woman in the group asked how our learning soul lessons fit within the construct of this modality. John replied that he did not believe we came to learn lessons…he instead expressed a belief in our coming into lives on earth to simply experience being here. “WHOA!! So I don’t have to learn lessons?!!!” I mused. The idea lifted a whole ton of weight from my shoulders. “And the truth shall set you free.” I tried on the idea that we came to just BE and my soul took flight….WOOOOHOOOO!! I felt like I just got out of elementary school for summer, with nothin to do but enjoy the sun, forest and endless creative playtime. And its meaningless that its meaningless. It is just what is so, suchness, it all came into focus, clearly, radiantly and yummily. I saw how my dissatisfaction was tied to a core belief of our living to learn lessons. I have believed my whole life that being the child of an alcoholic parent made me a better person…that my soul called forth that experience to learn compassion and in this I saw my attachment to the idea of becoming or attaining “better” as if it were something I am not. HELLLOOOOO!!!”….if we are all radiant beings of Light and Love, each a part of the Divine Oneness of all that is, each a spark of God’s infinite grace and beauty then why oh why would we have to, how ever could we, improve upon that? It no longer made sense to me that I would have to endure suffering to learn a lesson to be better. The experiences of suffering come because our vibration calls them. If we clear the vibration then we remove the flow of suffering events. When we  desire a happy, peaceful, joy filled life clearly enough to shift our vibration to be that, we can sit back and watch it all come to life!

I saw this quote on FB this week: “We want to show you how to go with the flow. Which means nothing more than finding vibrational harmony with your own desire, and letting the Universal Energy that your desire is summoning to it, flow to it through you. It is the optimum creative experience.” ~Abraham-Hicks….I get it!!

I believe that life is a mirror of what is inside us. There is no bad guy out there controlling us, manipulating us, hurting us or bullying us. There is only a place inside us that is attached to living as a victim, that forgets who we really are and it allows us to settle for a life that we do not really want. The vibration and energy of our being calls forth the situations, relationships and things in our lives. The more we remember who we are and clear our vibrations the more our lives and being reflect that clarity and grace. When upset happens in our lives we simply need to look within us to find the cause. What am I believing in? Where am I out of integrity? I believe in love but I am in a relationship where I don’t feel loved and I am not treated lovingly. I believe in abundance and prosperity but I am working in an environment that is not supporting that. When we are in our powerful vibration of self-love, those things, situations and people no longer attract us. They no longer make any sense to us and we choose something different; and with the next invitation we effortlessly and clearly just say “no, thank you.” Lack, suffering, disharmony, tension, stress and challenges dissolve, unshrouding our truth….we are radiant, abundant, powerful, unlimited beings who have come to simply remember to just be that.

Oooooooooooo, that feels SO good!!!

Happy Being Y’all,

Nicki

Years ago I bought a wooden sign which said “Happily Ever After” and proudly hung it by our front door. I was happily married, cozy, in love, passionately committed and all set for life with my wonderful husband and family, wonderful friends and laughter, wonderful home and safety, wonderful pets and love and toys and fun; we had it all.  That sign was one of the first things I packed when I left my ten year marriage. As I placed it in my car I could feel how my happily ever after crumbled….ruined by the resentments and stress that all too often come with having it all, by the disappointment, fear and anger caused by that stress. I vowed to live happily ever after by myself, happy within my own being, my few belongings, without a place to call home, but powerfully calling the shots of my own life, fulfilling my own dreams of creating peace and love in my own life and the lives of others.

A few days ago someone posted something on FB about the illusions of happily ever after and at first I resisted the idea. I am after-all in another great relationship; fulfilled, happy and cozy… but as I thought about it, I saw some things I had not seen before. Believing in a happily ever after with one person can lead to copping out within that relationship, taking our partner for granted, having unrealistic expectations for marriage and life, falling asleep at the wheel and more. It is, in a way, a premature finish to our never ending stories together. I could see how I had not spoken my truth in the past out of fear of losing that “happily ever after”….that by standing up for what I really wanted I would be seen as selfish or controlling and then I would find myself unloved. As I bottled up my truth, resentments set in and grew silently. When I finally spoke up, ironically, I was the one who was out of love. After thinking about it I decided that perhaps living “happily ever here and now” might be better. It is not the promise of the future that should give us ease…it is our experience of the present moment together, and the joy found in the ‘now’, in all those little things that partners do, that provide unending happiness.

We did not come into these bodies to rest on our laurels or hide, we came to expand, to shine, to explore and to love each other every day. We did not come with the main purpose of having things, we came with the purpose of learning about love. The little things make sacred our partnerships: kissing each other at each greeting and parting, telling each other every night how much we love the other, giving freely of ourselves in all ways to each other, being honest and fully self expressed with each other, listening, no matter what we are doing, to each other. We came to dance with each other, to laugh with each other, to comfort and understand each other, to be a team and work together, to grow with each other everyday…..within the small moments, with these acts we create the “happily”….it is something we work at with courage and trust, with no guarantee of “ever after.“

I was cleaning the house this morning doing my New Year de-cluttering thing and looked at the sign on my dresser. I just don’t feel it anymore. In that moment I committed myself instead to being courageous and honest every day. I committed to accepting and honoring change within myself or my love and refused to cage either of us ever again in an illusion created by fairy tales. I am awake at the wheel, growing, learning and being open to UN-conditionally loving myself and others…without expectations, harnesses, rules or striving for approval.

Naturally, I gave the sign to the wood-stove; AND IT FELT GREAT!!

Wishing you all, freedom from the illusions that bind you.

With Love and Peace,

Nicki

PS.. I just saw the date!! 12 years ago….here’s to all that we learned and created together and apart….the good, the bad and the ugly….to each and every page that has created our beautiful stories. I thank you for all of it…With Love, Always

“You are So Beautiful!!”

“Really!!”

How does that feel? Where did your thoughts go? Did you resist or did you allow? Did you think of your physical beauty or your inner beauty? Did you have lots of “but”s? Or did you think ‘Yah, I AM beautiful! Thank you for noticing!’ Can you acknowledge your true beauty despite the resistance caused by self-doubt, self-criticism and self-judgment? If you feel resistance try to see where it is coming from: unworthiness, someone else’s opinion, society’s definitions or your vantage point?

Unworthiness: If you compare yourself to others, why not ask “why can’t everyone be beautiful?” Look within your self for all the kind things you do on a daily basis, even the smallest of things like smiling at a stranger. See all of thoughts you have about trying harder. See how you have made the lives of others better….even a pet.

Others’ Opinions: Someone in your past or present may have or be projecting un-beautiful thoughts at you. Acknowledge the fact that this has EVERYTHING to do with THEIR not feeling beautiful or with THEIR self-love issues not yours! Every word we speak is a reflection of what is going on inside of us…it is like a neon sign announcing to the World…I really feel this way about ME. So just realize that they don’t feel beautiful and see the (tragic as it may be, very Greek as they say) beauty in that.

Society’s Definitions: Ah yes…..the photoshopped illusion of what’s beautiful….well that one is easily let go. The beauty I am referring to has little to do with your physical appearance (but love lit sparkling eyes are truly amazing) I am referring to your entire being; the good the bad and the ugly are ALL very beautiful. Our humanity, our struggles, challenges, pain and suffering all hold beauty alongside our divinity, triumphs, bliss and love.

Vantage Point: Step back….are you responding to “YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL” from the muck and mire of life….do you feel tired, exhausted, overwhelmed and/or frustrated? Take a deep breath or five deep breaths and sit somewhere very quiet, when you can find a moment (and it only takes a moment), and center in. Look at your whole life…..your childhood, your adolescence up to now and then say, “I am beautiful.” Or imagine that you have crossed over and are at total peace in spirit; HOME….and you are looking back from a very comfortable place of complete love and grace….do you see it now?

Not only is this is a wonderful barometer of our self-love but it is a wonderful tool for healing relationships with others and therefore, a barometer of our connection to Love and Oneness. As I sat in meditation this morning I visited several people in my mind’s eye and looked into them saying resonantly “You are beautiful” and I could feel my resistance or allowance of where they are at right now….or where I perceived they were at. When I said it, the energy of judgment melted within me…I felt my judgment and their judgment and pain unravel. I could feel how I get angry when I feel that they pull away from me and they pull away when they feel hurt or threatened. We all feel hurt because we all are not in a love vibration within ourselves…we are defending our positions, protecting our egos and providing perfect reflections for each other in the process. And when I step back, I see the beauty here in this dance of resistance and allowance. When we can see through each other’s bravado to the pain that we all feel, our self judgment, we can see the beautiful wounded child wanting to be held and loved and comforted. And so I held, loved and comforted them and myself with my energy and intentions for our peace and bliss.

At a spiritual arts festival in Cambridge years ago I listened to a poet read her simple words so deeply and powerfully that her energy pushed the feeling of the poem straight into my being. She slowly and deliberately finished the reading with, “I am melting, I am melting, I am melting into the bliss.” It has always stuck with me as the perfect description of that feeling of sinking into my center of unconditional love and Oneness through meditation or contemplation. When we can find ways of melting into our bliss, we can bring forth powerful healing to ourselves and others. We may do so without the limitation of words, by simply connecting energetically through thought, emotion and intention. And THAT is SO beautiful to me!!

Love and Light To You, Beautiful One,

Nicki

"Starlight Angel" 2004 by Nicki LeMarbre

Last year my Earth Angel beloved friend, Colleen, shared with me this beautiful poem from Genius Astri, A collection of poems by Manfred Kyber 1917…

Through all your lives, throughout your chain of being,

Near to this Earth and far,

High at your head your Angel, ever blessing,

Carries your guiding star.

*

Wander in dread, in shame, in misery,

Wander in hopeless night,

Yet in the blackest depths within the shadows

Flames the primeval light.

*

Amid the thorns of life , amid the roses,

Steadfast above your soul

Since time began the ‘I am’ everlasting

Shines pure, shines sure, shines whole.

*

Night after night you gaze upon this image:

Each fresh day anew,

Fanning the chaff, your Angel’s mighty wing-beat

Absolves and cleanses you.

*

And when the death hour comes to liberate

Your being’s inmost force,

Your Angel bears your star into God’s homeland

To steer your homeward course.

*******************************************************************

I love this poem so much. Two aspects of it stand out clearly to me today.

As the poem states, it is also my understanding that our guardian angels were created with us way way back in the beginning. They have been with us through every one of our incarnations, and as I now understand it, in the Oneness of all they are an aspect of our “being”. I used to think of them as completely separate from us but now I see that they ARE our higher selves; they are our angelic aspects, the highest dimension of our identity. (Some researchers in quantum physics explain dimensions as like stacked doughnuts of reality through which consciousness can extend through the center to access different levels.) Our Guardian Angels are the part of us that has never incarnated and that is the closest aspect of ourselves to God or Source. It is my belief that connecting with them, or that aspect of ourselves, we can bring forth powerful assistance to our earthly challenges, as if a separate being is helping us. We are separate but we are also one at the same time. We must ASK though….asking is the extension of our desire and intention for change…in asking we reach through the dimensional layers. It is like plugging in speakers or an amplifier to our stereo sound system…they are a booster…our power boosters…always available and always ready. But we must ask, we must connect, we must plug in….we must state our intention.

Secondly, as we have finally reached 2012 there is much talk about bible’s prophesied separation of the wheat (seen as Light-workers) from the chaff (seen as the “dark ones” in our society) in the “end times.” And for a while I too was subscribing to the idea that some people are the wheat and some are the chaff but that did not really fit with my understanding of Unity Consciousness and just did not feel right to me….it is duality thinking….good/bad, right/wrong etc. I have now come to understand and believe that the chaff is within us all. Each of us individually is cleansing and purging the darkness from our conscious minds and hearts and therefore as humanity we do so. We are throwing negativity, fear, anger, judgment in to that “unquenchable fire” that the bible’s quote refers to. (Matthew 3:12) (I just Googled the quote and found the “unquenchable fire” part which fits so perfectly with yesterday’s exercise for releasing! Love confirmations!)

Synchronistically, I received and shared on FB this beautiful quote today:  ”If the Beautiful One is not inside you, then what is that Light hidden under your cloak..?” ~Rumi

"The Field" 2006 by Nicki LeMarbre

The Light is hidden well by some but it is still there…even, as I believe, in the “dark ones.”

May the “Beautiful One” dissolve the cloaks and covers of fear. May we all shine our Light of truth within us; the light of Oneness, and let go of duality consciousness and judgment. May we live in that field that Rumi speaks of; that field of understanding and love….I’ll meet you there

Love and Light,

Nicki

Take Stock

Where are you right now in your life?  Are you happy? Are you holding onto something that is keeping you from a life of happiness? Do you know what it is exactly that you are holding on to?

Are you ready to let go now? Are you ready to sink deeply into your own center and release all that is not in harmony with your intentions for your life?

It is the dawning of 2012, the time is now to awaken. It is time to step out of the dream, the illusion that you are bound in any way by anger, resentment or stress. Time to break from the illusion that you are separate from others and that you are simply human…it is time to set yourself free, truly free. It is time to really really understand who you are; radiant, magnificent, powerful, beautiful, unconditional love and universal light….a gorgeous thread in the fabric of humanity….it is time to turn your thread into gold and shine.

Change Direction

What do you want? What do you really really want? Peace? Happiness? Abundance? Are you open to the possibility of a life of bliss? Or does your heart shut down at the mere mention of these things? Does your mind say “the world will never be peaceful!” Do you say “I don’t know how to let go!” Do you say “I don’t know how to get there!” What is the story that your mind has created that prevents you from changing, from growing? What direction is the vessel of your life pointed in…the anger about the past or the worry about the future? Can you go deep into these places and identify what it really is that you are afraid of?

See if you can get to the base fear that underlies the uprising of anger, judgment and resentment….for example you may come to “I don’t want to be alone.” Then look at your entire life thus far….and ask yourself….am I alone? have I ever been truly alone?  I am willing to bet that even though you may have felt alone at times, you never really have been “alone.” So whatever your most base fear is, question its validity…ask yourself, “is it true?!”

We try many things….meditation, affirmations, hypnosis, yoga, Reiki, energy work and all of these things help. This journey that we have signed up for on Earth seems like an unending process of opening and deepening to truth, to grace, to love. Along this path of rediscovery we all reach points here and there where we stop the drama and say “Enough!” It is at these points that we are able to release the attachments to the past and the pain, and the resentments, false beliefs, restrictions and limited thoughts that we had been clinging to, dissolve. Until we truly commit to letting go, shift our beliefs, and take responsibility for our own life, we will never be completely free.

Release The Pain…try this

1. Be committed to change and freedom from suffering.

2. Carve out a half hour to an hour of time when you can be alone and uninterrupted. (If you are saying…”i am never alone with free time!” JUST MAKE IT SO! 4am? 2am? If you have the will, you will make a way.) If you have some Selenite…hold it in your lap as you do this.

3. Contemplate now….close your eyes and identify your pain. Where is the anger? Who are you angry at? Why exactly are you angry at them?

4. WRITE IT ALL DOWN. Get into it, really feel the hurt and get it all out on paper. Be specific. Get as detailed as you possibly can.

5. Safely burn the paper (fireplace, inside or outside in an ashtray or sink…doesn’t matter, just burn it) and say (and FEEL it as you say it) out loud “I now am ready to release this anger….I release the illusion that I have been a victim….I acknowledge that my soul has called forth these experiences for me to grow and understand how I do not want to be. I acknowledge that these experiences somehow benefit me and have been a gift which I open my heart now to receiving. I here and now choose love, joy and freedom from all suffering for myself and this person (or these people).

6. Now call upon your Guardian Angel to assist you: “Dear Guardian Angel fill my heart with forgiveness. Help me to forgive myself and all others for getting lost in the illusion of our separateness from God. Help us to step fully into the realization of our true identity….One in the Light and Love of Divine Source. Hold me in your presence and allow me to understand more deeply the experience of unconditional love and help me to understand with my whole being why I manifested this experience so that I can learn the lesson and move on into my joy filled destiny. Thank you Thank you Thank you.”

7. Sit with your feelings now….rest in the release. Feel the peace as deeply as you can, center within it and within your Guardian Angel’s embrace and enjoy the truth of your being.

8. Repeat as often as necessary until you have fully released the pain and anger. Most importantly…NO judgment! Be gentle and patient with your process knowing full well that you are ALWAYS making progress.

May we all be free…..

I also found this beautiful film on YouTube that I would love to share with you…. http://vimeo.com/6518109

With Much Love and Light,

Nicki

I began the workshop and some of the people in the group became talkative and disruptive. I calmly and confidently approached them and reminded them that they had hired me to guide them through this meditation….that they needed to honor the commitment to their own presence there and that of the others…that they needed to acknowledge and release their desire to distract themselves and others or they would have to leave, some did…..some were asking questions like…”what is my spirit guide’s name, what is the number I vibrate to? Again I calmly replied “I would rather teach you about who you are than razzle dazzle you with intuitive tidbits and names. I am here to teach you about connecting with your energy in such a way as that you will be able to shift your life, you will be at the helm of your life, both hands on the wheel….this gift is 200 times greater than any name I could give you now so come with me, if you will, on this journey. Then YOU can then get the names and it will mean far more when you do than my giving them to you now.” or something like that.

I awoke very excited; I had received so much information from the dream I immediately wrote it down…here are the messages I received for all of us:

You ARE On Track, Always

We all seek validation along the way….check in with yourself now and ask if there is a part of you needing reassurance that you are on the right track. Gently acknowledge that it is normal and natural to feel this way from time to time. Hear the words of the all the great Masters. “Believe and you shall be healed” Release your need to know the details and jump into the flow of Universe. Open your heart and your mind to hear what I am going to say to you…

YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT PLACE, you are on the right track, you are evolving, you are shifting, you are amazing, you have the power within you to move mountains! TRUST yourself and your path, TRUST these words and guidance and Trust Universe and its unconditional support of and love for you. Open your heart to your sacred process of becoming your true self in this human body. Let all your fears about not being in the perfect place go as well as all your judgments about the past and all your human experiences. Jesus said, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” And so I ask you to forgive yourself for walking in the shadows and step into as much light as you can here and now.

The Path

You have a choice at all times….to move this way or that way, and to move quickly or slowly in your growth and opening. Never judge the pace or the direction. There are some of you who will feel nothing after working with Selenite, receiving Reiki or energy work; the changes will be so subtle. There are some of you who will feel completely changed. For those who feel nothing, know that something has changed within you no matter what you feel and it may be just the right amount of change that you need to keep your life in balance.

Sometimes along the way of life we grow or change quickly and it feels as though our entire life is falling apart. These times are sacred; we shall each pass through the dark night of the soul, times of rapid growth and awakening, seemingly packaged as trauma. We all lose our way for a bit but in these times we experience darkness so we may know and understand more deeply the light. And sometimes the changes are so soft, so gentle that they can only be seen when we encounter a very specific event or person and find ourselves reacting in a completely different way.

We are never alone in life. We are part of a web. We have family and friends that we are connected to and we are all moving together through this process. Even if we feel disconnected we are still connected by love, energy and entanglement. Sometimes slow and steady growth is needed and sometimes things need to fall apart for there to be growth. You will know, when you need to know, when it is time to move; there will be no stopping you and when it is time to rest, you will rest; there is no resisting it. Listen to yourself and heed the pace that your life sets for you, knowing that you are also part of a group, not just an individual. Balance is maintaining order and flow in our life and the lives of our loved ones. But again, sometimes losing balance is what is needed; sometimes we need to move away from our group if they choose to not grow with us. And it is all good for we shall always stay connected in love and the energy of growth will always be felt once that connection and bond is made.

"Reflections" by Rachel Krafton

Mirror Work

When we become crystal clear about awakening to the truth of who we really are then we will begin to truly see others as ourself; not as separate beings but as one with us. You will instantly see a reflection of yourself where once you saw an enemy. You will begin to take full responsibility for the reflections you see acknowledging that your life is a beautiful magical mirror. Using this mirror, you will have deeper understandings of others and yourself and you will begin to hear their thoughts and feelings as you hear and feel your own. You will understand more fully how we are all the same….how we all desire to be loved, heard and accepted. You will begin to hear beyond their words, you will hear expressions of love or the need for it.

You will break through the illusion of the belief in, or notion of, “out There.” You will deeply realize that there is no “out There,” that we live in a holographic world…and that it is all “in Here.” There really is no “he/she did/said this to me”….instead you will instantly acknowledge the truth; “I called forth another to do/say this to me.” We create our world and everything in it every second of every day for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. You will realize that events in your childhood which you have blamed this or that current condition on were actually planned and created by your soul long before you entered your body. Your childhood pain was purposely created by you so that you could learn perhaps one of your greatest lessons. When we stop and take responsibility for these truths we can then begin to live intentionally on a whole new level. When we truly get that every thought, word and action is sculpting the experiences of our lives, and that we have the ability, right and power to say “Enough!” then we become the true masters of our lives.

Pure Intention ~ Deep Clarity

Intention is EVERYTHING! It is the golden compass, it is the helm, it is the vessel in and through which we navigate our lives. When we shift our intentions, we change the course of our lives. When we truly hold within us the intention of “Awakening” we then choose a path of emotional, intellectual and spiritual growth; we call forth sometimes tremendous change. Awakenings will happen on all levels. Your feelings will change, your understandings will change and your vibration will change. In your creation of an awakened life you will gravitate towards and call forth more peaceful and loving people and situations to support your desire for greater peace and love within yourself. You may have to change the soil of your life. You can not grow a magnificent garden in soil depleted of nutrients. We need soil that will support our new intention.

Integrity ~ Do Unto Others….all others

Ask yourself. “WHAT DO I WANT?”

“Do you want to Awaken? Do you want happiness? Do you want peace? Do you want love? Do you want abundance? Do you want prosperity? Do you want to live in the Universal flow and grace of life?”

I hear so many people say “I am doing all the work and intention setting and visualizations but I am still blocked!” I myself was doing the same thing. I knew I was blocked, and I knew that something within me was creating that block. When I took full responsibility for creating the block, I got clear on finding where I was out of integrity and shifted my energy so that flow was again created.

If our intention is all of the above plus awakening we must have integrity. If we intend to awaken then we must walk the talk…we must be pure in our intentions. If we don’t set intentions on awakening then we may have wonderful prosperity but inside feel miserable and unfulfilled….we may have one or more of the items on the list but we will not have it all. In order to have it all….to truly be in the flow on all levels, we must desire the same for all beings. The illusions of separation, lack, suffering and teaching others lessons through pain must be dissolved. WE ARE NOT SEPARATE FROM EACH OTHER….we must want the same for all people. There are no enemies, we are all in this together, we must all grow and evolve. If we want to awaken and create peace, love, abundance and prosperity for our self then we must want it for everyone. Otherwise we will be blocked, jammed, and out of integrity with being truly loving and peaceful.

Look in your heart. If there is someone you are judging write a list of the qualities that you don’t like in them and then, if you need to, ask someone close to you to be honest and tell you if they see these same qualities in you; or just look into yourself for the same qualities within you that you see in them, release it and let it go….see the oneness and refuse to buy into the illusion of separateness any longer.

If you are harboring resentments of another’s behavior, look into your past to see where you have done the same thing you resent them for doing, release it and let  it go…again, see the oneness and refuse to participate in the illusion of separateness any longer.

If you are envious or jealous of someone, you are buying into the illusion of lack…set your intentions on having for yourself what it is that they have and create it in your own life then thank them for showing you the possibilities to move into. Celebrate and see everyone having the things you would like to have.

If you are angry at another, try placing a card with their name written on it atop a piece of selenite in a spot where you will see it often (I put mine next to my computer screen) and send them love every day. Consciously choose to shift the energy from anger to love.

If you want to be in a relationship with someone who does not feel the same….let it go. They are not the ONE. Do not buy into the illusion that they are the ONE. When you meet the right person for you, you will know it without a doubt…

there will be absolutely no confusion, no turmoil, no back and forth; your reunion with your soul mate will be instant, clear, MUTUAL and undeniable. When you get really clear on receiving the relationship of your dreams with a person that loves all of you and not settling for someone who only loves parts of you, he/she will step forth into your life. Until you feel deserving of such a beautiful love relationship, it can not materialize in your life.

May we all awaken to a life of love and peace. May we all live in the unlimited flow of abundance and grace. May we be the change we wish to see.

In Oneness, Love and Gratitude,

Nicki

One night this October I sat around a bonfire at my sister’s with my family and heard myself slam someone whom I had not completely forgiven…it was a short little comment but it was huge to me because I really heard it. My nieces stopped and looked at each other, saying nothing, but seemingly vibing “there she goes again, not walkin the talk!” And in that moment I finally held myself accountable for: a. being unkind, b. creating and perpetuating a thought pattern that kept me from the flow of abundance in my life and c. not living intentionally! In that moment I asked “Am I walking my talk? Do I believe in love and peace, really? Am I being loving and peaceful? Or am I being nasty and resentful?” No matter how small the words are they still revealed my position…. WAY OFF where I consciously wanted to be! I made a choice to awaken and break this pattern.

Work

So I got really committed. Every time for the next several weeks that I would feel the urge to slam or bring up that old situation, I stopped, gently noticed “oh, there it is again”….and refused to give it life by speaking it. I took full responsibility for its creation and said “NO MORE!” And little by little, the weight lifted. The lie/illusion that I needed anything from anyone, that anyone owed me anything, was replaced by the knowingness that I will be and am always completely supported by Universe, God, Source, I am completely and fully capable of creating everything that I wish to have. Once I got that part down, I got intentional about my self-healing. For several weeks I began to give myself sessions as if I were working on a client, saying out loud to myself the words I say to someone else while I lay on the precious Selenite slabs…..clearing my field and raising my vibrations and though I could not feel the changes then and there, they are now popping up in all aspects of my life.

The shift that many of us have been going through for years is something we can not easily and tidily put in a labeled box. It is expansive, all-encompassing and well, complicated. So often we don’t see any obvious progress….we may participate in a powerful workshop or healing session and then wake up the next morning feeling the same essentially; we do our physical work, our chores, our errands….we chop wood and carry water; taking care of our families and friends while inside we are growing, changing and evolving. Our perceptions gently shift through dreams and/or conversations; “ah ha” moments find their way….our hearts open to forgiveness and we finally cross the bridge of understanding, freeing ourselves from that which binds us. These shifts are most often subtle but sometimes we get a big surprise when all of a sudden, we know we are reacting completely different to a repeated situation.

Crossing The Bridge

I did my first full Selenite & Sound workshop on Friday night at the Sanctuary in Mashpee. I awoke that morning with a dizzy spell (“Oh No!”) but through the nausea I maintained calmness, refusing to give into the illusion, stayed positive and focused and gently plowed through all the things I needed to do to prepare. I even had time for a nap, did a self-healing and woke up feeling better. For the first time in my life, from school projects to art openings, to hosting parties at my home, to Angel Room events, I was calm cool and collected ALL DAY!! Normally I would have slipped into a frantic, stressed out mode, but not this time. I loved each piece of printed material I created….the printer worked flawlessly, I was able to review the entire 2 hour presentation with completeness, packed up the car with help and when I left the house on time I felt totally ready, joyous and complete! Those of you who know me best, realize how big this is..truly a shift!

When we get clear on what it is that we really want, then do “the work” of releasing old habitual thought processes that conflict with our intentions for life, everything falls into place and Universe supports us and our passion. My new mission statement reflects my new-found clarity: “We have come into this life to discover our true nature. Through open self-reflection we see. Through focus on and commitment to awakening, we grow. Through action we free ourselves from the illusions that bind us. I am passionately dedicated to the awakening of humanity by assisting myself and others clear that which keeps us from our true identity and a life lived in intention, joy and love.”

I am so grateful that the first workshop sold out and was wonderful…I received great feedback and know that I am doing exactly what I am meant to do and I am supported fully by people who recognize the value of what I am doing, including myself. Last night I dreamt of walking and then passing a group of people…..a woman took offense at my passing them and accused me of being rude…we were on a bridge…I turned to her calmly and confronted her anger by asking “how would you like me to have done it, I was simply walking faster than you?” She then acknowledged that she just did not like the fact that I had gone ahead of her. We kept walking and the bridge that had been broken was being fixed by other people joining together. Then I am at the kitchen sink with that old friend (whom I had slammed by the bonfire) and I can see their smiling face turned, at last, towards me and we laughed together “are we done (being angry)?” “Yes….we are done” and we embraced.

Forgiveness is here at last….I have made it across the bridge!

Wishing You all Clarity, Joy and Peace with Love….Always,

Nicki

According to Merriam Webster Ascension is defined as: the act of ascending, which is defined as:

1. rising or increasing to higher levels, values, or degrees
2. rising upward usually from a more or less prostrate base or point of attachment

Every day I have connected with the new stones thanking them for being here, I play beautiful music and my singing bowls for them as they adjust to their new environment. I’ve done several sessions on myself, calling in the Archangels to help me in setting intentions for my life and asking for a clearing away of all blocks, fears and judgments that keep me from my highest and best good. And everyday I see and feel a greater flow of ease in my life. Last night I took enough stones to my Intuitive Development class to test a group session. It was a completely different experience than a one on one session, for sure; instead of having a lesser effect it had the opposite, a far greater effect!

As each person sat on a large piece with another under their feet and a small wand in each hand we began. After they connected through touch with each piece of Selenite and asked for their intentions to be made manifest and for the release of anything and everything that no longer served them, I guided them through a chakra clearing meditation. As I did this I was surprised to feel how greatly the energy multiplied with each person in the room. I walked around connecting with and moving their energetic fields. They were opening their crown and 3rd eye chakras at the same rate but when we came to the throat I almost fell over. Each person had different issues and as the words flowed through me I could feel each person open at different rates. As we reached the heart, again I felt the different issues and again the words appeared within my mind to open the doors. When we opened the 1st and 2nd chakras it was as if the entire room was a portal of white light. I had no idea how working in a group would intensify and expand the entire experience. I could feel the waves of energy swirling and merging together. One of the participants had had a couple of one on one sessions and was also totally amazed at the difference. Joy and peace filled each face. This was with only three people….I can not wait until Friday when I facilitate the first full workshop for twelve!! I will keep you posted on the Selenite adventures!!

So I invite you to find the Selenite in your collection (you may even have a candle holder made of Selenite), place both hands on it and ask it to help you in releasing everything and anything that no longer serves you….call in your guardian angel, the Archangels or any beings you would like to assist you, meditate with it and watch your life change. Happy Ascension!!

With Love and Light Always,

Nicki

Unfolding, opening to deeper layers of connectedness. I sit on the wooden steps of my sister’s porch sipping my warm coffee. I feel the opening within me, the unraveling into the sacred stillness of my being. My bare toes slip into the wet green cool grass layered by golden leaves. Earth rotates towards the sun on this mid November morn and I welcome the strangeness of such temperature that allows my bare feet. As I look out through the brightness glowing through grey layers of misty clouds I feel peace, I feel hope. My spirit craves the outdoors, it is here that we can feel the connection outside of our manufactured boxes….though they are dear and sweet they are restrictions of the great oneness of all things.

The shift….the movement away from restraint, confines, control and planning. We step into this beautiful dance of freedom, flow and cooperation. I stop and look….how different my life is now.. Ease and grace pervade. I notice gently the layers of fear that still dwell within me, keeping me from being and living my highest potential. This joy, this peace of nature dissolves the blinders and fills me with clarity and truth. My hands burn with the flow of love. My heart and solar plexus dance to create possibilities. The onion peels…the lotus blooms. The protesters are in the streets holding space for change beckoning our participation, waiting, hoping, inspiring. They are the alarm clock of humanity, calling forth change, calling forth a better way. We all in our own ways are finding our voice and the first word is “enough!”. We are willing to be homeless, cold, brave and bold to usher in a new way of being. We are willing to let go of material comforts to reap the rewards that freedom and living in our truth bring. We are willing to open and trust that the path shall manifest. “Leap and the net shall appear”.

November 29th, 5:25am

I have been exploring several rabbit holes over the past few months. Facebook held the entrance to most of them….there is so much going on in the World right now and FB seems to be the only place that you can find unfiltered information. It is so hard for me not to get distracted by the Occupy Movement’s beautiful awakening, the unveiling of the ongoing conspiracies, the collapse of the world economy and Earth changes. Quakes are quaking, volcanoes are erupting, aircraft carriers are docking, nuclear power plants are melting, weather patterns are changing and comets are flying. Not only have I been away from blogging but my involvement with these distractions has kept me from other things as well AND I have been eating my way through it as if I am watching an intense movie. My body screamed “enough” three days ago and so the diet has changed which has brought me more energy and centeredness….it always amazes me how fast that happens. Steering myself away from sugar, flour, meat and alcohol…..and Facebook feels so good so quickly. Back on track to clear energy and focus. The pendulum swings again…. distraction/focus…. tightening/loosening….. healthy eating/unhealthy eating…. out in the world/centered within. This beautiful dance of life goes on and on and through it all the layers of fear, guilt, resentment and pain melt off one by one, reveling the warrior within who calls forth action so the yogi within may observe, accept and shine.

We are all things.

Wishing Deep Peace of The Starry Skies To YOU!!

Twenty slabs of Selenite each weighing between twenty and forty pounds are being polished and packed in New Mexico and will be shipped to Mendon on Friday. I have had such great experiences with private Selenite sessions that I am now booking workshops for up to 12 people at yoga/spiritual/wellness centers and private homes after December 10th. Click Here for more information.